AHHH. THIS. IS. THE HERD!

Coming to you live from Los Angeles, wherever you may be listening or wherever you may be watching. I’m Colin Cowherd, bringing you up to minute sports stories. Today we have a bunch of great segments for you, but I want to lead the show with something new.

You know we live in a weird time with technology and millennials. Sports are holding strong but the eSports movement is happening. And it just keeps picking up. People aren’t just playing virtual games, they’re watching other people play virtual games. And then people are commenting on those virtual games and people are watching people comment on those people playing virtual games. I gotta say I’m paying attention and I’ve tried to get it, but I don’t get it.

Except for fantasy football.

Everyone plays fantasy football these days. But one league in particular does it better than everyone else. Last year the world was fascinated by the League By Example. People couldn’t get enough and I gotta say: I get it.

So for this football season, every week we are going to start our show with the League By Example Power Rankings and then get to your old school football news afterwards.

Number 10!

Bill

The good news: Lamar Jackson shredded in week 1.

The bad news: Lamar Jackson was on your bench. No not a single starter had a good game. You have not one, but two Dolphins on your team, and word on the streets is that they want off this “we’re-saying-we’re-not-tanking-but-we-also-don’t-have-any-RBs-so you-do-the-math” fantasy team.

Number 9!

Joey

The good news: Even after just one game it appears pretty clear that there is one position that you will dominate all year, kicker. Harrison Butker put on a show against a start studded Jags defense. Maybe the most exciting player in the league (or maybe just your team) Butker is kicking his way into the hearts and minds of Joey fans all over the world.

The bad news: Baker Mayfield and Devonta Freeman were otherworldly awful.

Number 8!

Adrian

The good news: You’re 1-0 despite leaving a roster space empty like some kind of rookie. The Antonio Brown drama appears to be over and it appears that it was all a 4D chess move to get him paired up with the greatest quarterback of all time.

The bad news: No team has dropped further in the rankings. The injury-proneness of your team would fall somewhere between Darren McFadden and Ryan Mathews. Your team is almost as old as Tom Brady, and your top two receivers rely on Grandpa Gunslinger and his anti-aging blood transfusions.

Number 7!

Sandro

The good news: You beat Chris who many thought had the best team coming out of the draft. You scored 160 points. Your top 2 running backs look like absolute studs. You had another 30 spot on the bench from a rookie you paid peanuts for.

The bad news: Tyreek the Freak is going to be out for a while.

Number 6!

Richard

The good news: The man ended up with not one but TWO really good looking Tight Ends. And if that wasn’t enough, Sammy Watkins looks to be the steal of the draft.

The bad news: You ran into a buzzsaw and you are 0-1.

Number 5!

Chris

The good news: T.J. “Gronkenson” put on a show in his first game as a rookie. And while you lost, Sandro can’t say that he doubled your score.

The bad news: Sandro almost doubled your score. Guice is hurt again. The Browns offense looked like a typical Browns offense, with Chubb and OBJ looking like JAGS.

Number 4!

Rabie

The good news: You pulled out a win against a team that put up a lot of points. You spent $2 total on 2 receivers that combined for 13 catches, 225 yards and a TD. And after being mocked for the price you paid for Evan Engram, it looks like you’re getting the last laugh now.

The bad news: Two of your top running backs couldn’t find any room to run and only handled 6 carries each. And the only viable replacement on your bench, managed just 4 carries himself.

Number 3!

Dustin

The good news: You won by 43. Your kicker and defense combo was legit.

The bad news: Your 3 headed RB monster combined to average 14.3 carries. That’s not terrible but that’s not what you hope for with guys as talented as Gurley, Fournette, and Kerryon Johnson. You don’t get to play Bill again until week 10.

Number 2!

Michael

The good news: The reports about involving Chris Carson in the passing game were true and he is locked in to a huge workload this year.

The bad news: You put up 132 and still lost. You might have better production from some of your starters, but you can’t count on Dak for 40, and no one on the bench is pushing for a starting spot either.

Number 1!

Matt

The good news: 177 in the first game of the season is the most in our league’s history. And it’s even more impressive when you dig in to numbers. This game wasn’t propped up by huge QB numbers, Cam Newton scored 16 points LESS than his projection. The D/ST only contributed 1.5 points. Had Matt played Derrick Henry, he would have scored 105.6 from just his running backs. That number would have beaten 3 teams this week. This team not only put up the most points, it’s weakest at 2 of the 3 easiest to improve spots (QB and Def).

The bad news: Uhh… your 6th WR DaeSean Hamilton can’t catch.